Why Can’t I Own a Canadian?

The following is cut and paste from an email from my Dad. It’s something that’s been binging rounding the net for a while but seeing as the weblinks no longer seem to work I thought I would post it here…

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

(It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian 🙂

Procrastination and Displacement Activity

I’ve got 4000 words left to write. For some reason I can’t though. So I’ve helped my cousin’s kids get dressed, played in the garden, had some toast. I’ve even tidied up my paperwork and watched babies laughing on youtube. None of which is getting me any closer to finishing the blasted thing. And now I’m resorting to writing about not writing in the vague and slim hope that by typing a lot I will be inspired to continue typing my thesis. Not a good sign.
Hoping to get it down to 3000 words by the time we sit down to watch Nanny McPhee!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes…

Hi folks, I’ve combined my blogs now that Overtaking on a Bend is released. This combined blog will cover music and also e-learning and everything else so will try to tag accordingly!

Tired

So, we have clearance from MCPS, the tracks and album are registered and cleared with PPL so if by any chance they get played on the radio or telly, everyone gets their cut and if I sell loads of copies I am eligible to chart. (haha).
Grant has finished the pre-final final so all I need to do now is listen to it a few more times and hopefully there will be no more changes required. Stuart has just about finished the artwork and is compig round with a copy for final adjustments. So with any luck I’ll be sending it off to the duplicators very soon, maybe by the end of the week!
When they get it, it’s two weeks to manufacture and then I will have an awful lot of selling to do. It’s been a long old road, and I’ve learned so much.
I just hope you like it, I hope it achieves some success, not least so I can get some money back.

But to be honest, the most important thing in all of this is that I have finally made the album I wanted to hear, that has been in my head for so long, and that I found so hard to explain. Ad soon you’ll hear it too.

To paraphrase Tim Minchin : “This is my album, and it’s fine, it’s where I’ve spent the vast majority of my time. It’s not perfect. But it’s mine”.

nearly there

It’s been another while. Not really even sure who reads this, to be honest but here goes. I now have my notification of no claim from MCPS, I have registered my “record label” with PPL and got ISRC codes for the songs. I’m now in the process of assigning the musicians to the songs so that if by some miracle any of this ends up on the radio or tv or whatever, everyone gets their dues. It’s taking time as it is fiddly and annoying but it will be worth it and it has to be done.
I have my barcode and am very nearly done with the artwork. Stuart is just putting some finishing touches to the text and then we are about set. Hopefully will hear from Grant soon that the mastering is complete and then the whole lot will be sent off for duplication. So we’re talking weeks now not months.
Samples of some tunes will be made available on Myspace soon.

Go ahead and buy please!!

http://www.jomccafferty.com/shopuk.htm

Waiting

So I’ve been kind of quiet of late and I guess some of you are wondering where your cd is. Unfortunately “circumstances beyond my control” have delayed things – several circumstances in fact. The upshot is that mixing was delayed temporarily, and is now back in progress. It will be a week or so before this is done, and then some mastering, before the master copy is sent for duplication. This will take another couple of weeks. The plan is for the cds to be sent out in time for Christmas. However I understand if some of you are cynical about this.
If (and I sincerely hope this doesn’t happen) we are delayed longer, “cd tokens” will be distributed on request, with my apologies. Essentially, something to give while I run around like an idiot trying to get this out.
Musically, this mixing lark has been very tough so far and I can see the rest of the arrangements being similarly difficult. You get to this stage and suddenly you get option anxiety, which instrument where, which solo and how much? However, it is sounding so good to my ears that I also spend a lot of time grinning my head off.
So bear with me, dear reader, it is not long now.

Jo
x

Last Day of Recording

Shattered! Today was the last day – recorded vibraphone for Friend and did vocals for Jack and Poseidon. Now I am sitting back and watching Grant and Rob who owns Ford Lane sorting out all the files…
It’s been a tiring and frankly emotionally draining experience but I am sure you are all going to find at least one thing to like about this album, even if it is the end :0)

Now Grant’s work begins – editing, fixing and then mixing. Meanwhile I take away the roughs and work out what I want, and what order I want it in – likely a tough call!
More soon :0)